The Twenty Minutes Every New Parent Should Set Aside

A newborn brings a flood of paperwork and priorities. Here's a simple twenty-minute framework new parents can use to protect—and preserve—what matters most.

The Twenty Minutes Every New Parent Should Set Aside

Between feedings, diaper changes, and the general blur of the fourth trimester, it can feel impossible to find twenty consecutive minutes for anything that isn't the baby. Yet a handful of small, deliberate actions taken in the first months of a child's life can shape their security for years to come. Many new parents spend that rare quiet moment scrolling instead of tackling the short list of decisions that actually protect their family—and increasingly, some are using that same short window to begin something more personal, starting a few recorded thoughts and memories for their child at Voice After Life.com before the busyness of parenthood makes it easy to postpone indefinitely.

None of this requires a full weekend or a lawyer's office visit to begin. It requires twenty honest minutes, a notepad or your phone, and a willingness to make imperfect decisions now rather than perfect decisions never.

Why New Parents Put This Off

It isn't laziness. Research on estate planning shows that according to a 2025 Pew Research study, only 32% of Americans have a will or living trust, and Americans with children under age 18 make up the largest group without wills or other estate planning documents. The same research notes that young parents often approach the process with a limited understanding of what an estate plan should cover, and many assume they do not have enough assets to justify a plan, or that planning can wait until they are older.

The irony, of course, is that new parents have more reason than almost anyone else to act quickly—there is now a small person whose entire world depends on decisions the parents haven't yet written down.

The Twenty-Minute Framework

Think of this as three short checkpoints, not a single overwhelming project.

Minutes 1–7: Name (or Confirm) a Guardian

This is the step most new parents already know they should take, and the one most likely to be sitting untouched on a mental to-do list. Legal experts are consistent on why it matters: if you want to have a say about who raises your children, you need to name a guardian before you die, because without knowing your wishes, a judge could appoint someone who would raise your children in a way that goes against your values. Naming a guardian also does something for the family that's easy to overlook—it removes ambiguity that can otherwise cause conflict. As one legal resource puts it, even if you have several family members you'd trust to raise your children, naming a guardian can prevent arguments—and potential legal disputes—between family members over who gets to raise your children.

You don't need a finished will in the next seven minutes. You need a name—and ideally a backup name—written down somewhere your partner can see it, so the conversation with an attorney becomes a formality rather than a starting point. Attorneys who work with young families often note that you should always name at least one alternate guardian, since your first choice may be unable or unwilling to serve when the time comes.

Minutes 8–14: Check Your Beneficiary Designations

This step is quick, concrete, and frequently skipped entirely. Life insurance policies, 401(k)s, and IRAs don't follow your will—they follow whatever name is on file with the account provider. As one legal overview explains, if you have a life insurance policy, 401(k), or IRA account, the beneficiary designations on these accounts overrule wills, and the funds in these accounts will be distributed to whomever you name in those documents, regardless of whom you specify in your will.

Because a new baby cannot legally receive insurance proceeds directly, this step also involves a bit of forward thinking. Legal guidance is clear that if assets are intended for your children, it's often best to name a trust as the beneficiary rather than naming a minor child directly, since minor children can't receive the proceeds and the insurance company will seek a court order designating how proceeds should be paid. You don't have to solve the trust question in these seven minutes—just pull up your accounts, confirm who's currently listed, and flag anything that needs a conversation with an advisor or attorney.

Minutes 15–20: Start a Voice or Story for Your Child

The last five minutes are less about paperwork and more about presence. Researchers studying bereaved families have found that participants' responses converged across themes including the child's enduring presence and manifestations of legacy such as tangible items, experiences, traditions, and rituals. Voice, in particular, carries something unique. A peer-reviewed study on family audiobooks used with terminally ill parents found that the family audiobook provides a valuable opportunity for parents with dependent children under the age of 18 to tell their own biographical story, offer support to the bereaved in remembering, and preserve the voice of the deceased for the children.

That same principle applies long before anyone is facing a terminal diagnosis. A short voice memo about why you chose your child's name, what you hoped for on the day they were born, or simply what your voice sounds like reading their favorite lullaby becomes something they may treasure decades from now. This is precisely the kind of small, low-pressure habit that families are building through Voice After Life, setting aside a few recorded minutes now rather than trying to reconstruct memories later.

Making It a Habit, Not a One-Time Task

The twenty-minute framework isn't meant to be a single event you check off and forget. Attorneys who work with young families recommend revisiting these decisions regularly—consider reviewing your choices annually or after major life events, especially if personal and financial situations change for your family or your designated guardian or conservator. The same logic applies to the recordings and messages you leave for your child: a single voice memo from the newborn stage is meaningful, but a few minutes added every few months, across birthdays and milestones, becomes something far richer.

None of these twenty minutes require you to have all the answers today. They simply require you to stop letting the most important decisions sit at the bottom of the list, underneath everything more urgent but far less lasting.

• Voice After Life.com